Harry Potter and BSC Crossover
by The Nori of the Universe
Summary: STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, DON'T YOU DARE READ!!!!!! Harry Potter meets the Babysitters Club!!!!! Even I can't believe I wrote it!!!
1. The Harry Potter and Babysitter's Club C...

Credits: Well, duh you already know that JK obviously owns mostly everything, Ann M. Martin owns the BSC, the Titanic-organizers/maker-uppers made the Titanic, the English-language-maker-uppers made the English words, and I am left with....negative stuff. How- amazing. 

Author's note: If you're not in the mood to read something so incredibly stupid it seems only natural my dad made it up (see i don't own anything), then don't read this. And if you do, don't review. Only review if you are: hyper, sugar highed (there's a difference, don't worry), water highed (I have been water-highed and boy do I wanna be again), and whatever it takes for you to be laughing, screaming, torturing, or grinning evilly/smirkingly/stupidly at your computer. 

Me (sighing at computer): Why do I always start like this? Okay, I'll eliminate myself till I come up. Here it is... 

*and by the way, Harry is Apparating for the first time, this is his test and he's not really paying attention because he just won a game of Quidditch and Cho swooped down from the stands and kissed him, so he's thinking of this and not the Apparation.* 

Harry (closes his eyes nervously): Okay, okay, I can do it, focus my.... er, energies... 

Hermione and Ron (sniggering uncontrollably): _Focus_ your energies, Harry! You heard what she said! 

Mafalda *remember, someone from the Ministry?* (nods slowly at Harry): Yes, Harry! You need to focus, focus on the point where you want to arrive, focus... 

Harry (thinking about Cho's bedroom): Okay... 

Mafalda (looking pleased yet exhausted): Good, now, say the words, come on now, and just go! 

Harry: Er, _Apparate Me_? 

Hermione (exasperated, whispers piercingly): No, Harry! It's _Apparatious Unificus_! 

Harry (screws up mind): Okay, _Apparatious Unificus_! 

*Harry slowly disappears, inch by inch, from toe to head* 

Mafalda (tiredly): Very well, then, who's next? 

*Ron and Hermione push Neville from behind the closet and run outside, giggling. They look at each other, the surroundings, void of people, and start to make out.* 

Harry *swirling in white mist, thinking about Cho*: Oh, Cho-oo, here I- oof! 

*falls out of mist into an unknown bedroom* 

Eight hysterical girls: Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Harry (brushing himself off and looking at the ceiling): What was that? 

One girl: It's a boy! 

Another girl: Congrats on the labor... 

Harry (finally looking around, sees the stares of eight strange, Muggle girls arranged on the bed, the floor, and a chair of a very messy bedroom. One of them looks like...): _Cho_? 

Claudia: What? 

Kristy: Excuse me? 

Stacey: What are you doing here?! 

Abby: Oh, no! You squished Claud's tootsie pops! 

Harry: Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! 

Kristy: Wait right there, whoever you are. Explain why you came here and how. 

Stacey, Jessi and Dawn: And who are you? 

Harry: What? Harry Potter. 

Mary Anne, Mallory and Jessi: OH! Really? The actual Harry Potter, from the books? 

Harry: What books? I'm Harry, yeah. 

Mary Anne and Mallory (screaming with delight): AAAAAAUUUGHHHHHHH!!! 

Harry (flabbergasted at finding himself here): Who are you? 

Kristy: We're the- 

Phone: _ring, ring!_

Kristy, Mary Anne, Stacey, Dawn, Claudia, Mallory, Jessi, and Abby (reach over Harry in a mad dash to the phone): I'll get it! 

Dawn (breathless): Hello, Babysitter's Club, may we help you? 

Harry (horrified): Oh, no! 

Dawn: Mmmm-hhhmmmm... okay, I'll call you right back, Mrs. Pike. 

Mary Anne (opening a thick notebook): The Pikes? How many? 

Dawn: Tomorrow, all of them. 

Kristy: _What_? This Saturday,tomorrow! For all the Pikes? Nobody's available! 

Mary Anne (flushing slightly): Kristy and Abby; Krushers practice. Me, Mallory, and Stacey; Braddocks and DeWitts at the picnic. Claudia, Jessi and Dawn; after-school activities. 

Stacey: What about the associates? 

Mary Anne (in dismay): Oh, _no_. Logan told me he had football practice after school and Shannon has French. 

Kristy: So, nobody can make it? This is going to look very bad for the club! 

Stacey: Where are the Pikes' going? 

Mallory: They're going on an all-expense-paid trip for a day tomorrow to Tobago! This is terrible, they can't _cancel_! 

Kristy (slowly thinking): Hmmm... Claud, you think maybe, Janine? 

Claudia: NO! 

Harry (very, very, very scared and confused): You are the Babysitters Club? All of you? 

The BSC (remembering Harry): Yes, we are. 

Harry: Oh, no... 

Kristy (brainstorming): Harry... do you babysit? 

Harry (still confused, staring around at the girls, eyes falling on Claudia): Er- yes... 

Kristy: Could you do us a favor? 

Harry (thinking about Cho/Claudia): YEs... 

Kristy: Good! You can take the Pike's job! 

Harry (confused, her words suddenly falling on his ears): _What?_

Kristy: You don't have to do much, look, here's where they live, their address, Mallory will help you once you get there. (holds out book of addresses, numbers and kids) 

Harry (nearly faints): _Seven kids_? 

Kristy: Meeting adjourned! 

Harry (dazed): Aaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!   


  


* * *   


  


(Harry slept, during the night, in the spare bedroom at Claudia's house, when her parents were out and didn't notice anything. Neither did Janine, Claudia's sister. Harry is going to his sitting job with the Pikes'.) 

Doorbell: _Ding, dong..._

Harry (muttering under his breath): God, ohno, ohno, ohno, ohno... 

Mallory (answers door, breathless): Hi, Harrythephonenumbersareonthefridge, MomandDadleftalready, saidtheywerelate, see ya, bye! (rushes out) 

Harry (with trepidation, opens door): Oh, great. 

Byron, Adam, Jordan *triplets- 10 year olds*: Hihihihi!!!! 

Vanessa, Margo, Claire *9, 7, 6*: Hihihihi!!!! 

Nicky *8*: Hi! 

Harry (runs through house, breaking several vases on the way): AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Adam, Byron, Jordan, Vanessa, Nicky, Margo, Claire (follow him): HarryHarryHarryHarry!!!!!!!! 

(all run through house ten times) 

*This goes on for fifteen minutes, till Harry is thoroughly annoyed, exhausted, and the kids are hyper as -well- hyper.* 

Harry (tries to yell but can't): Stop! 

Pikes': Can we watch TV? Can we? Can we? 

Harry (wearily): OKay. 

Pikes': Goody! 

(Harry flops down into the sofa) Cushion: PPPPPPHHHHWWWEEEEETTTHHH!!!!! 

Kids (laughing): He farted!!!!! 

Harry (jumps up, face red, anger mounting): I said STOP IT!!!! 

Kids (taunting): Ha-ha-ha-ha-haha!!!!! 

Jordan: Pop! (turns into toad) 

Byron: Pop! (turns into toad) 

Adam: Pop! (turns into toad) 

Vanessa: Pop! (turns into toad) 

Nicky: Pop! (turns into toad) 

Margo: Pop! (turns into toad) 

Claire: Pop! (turns into toad) 

Harry: Yes! Oh, no! 

*voices in the hall*: Now, where did I forget my coat? 

Harry (panics): Nowhere! 

Voice (comes into room): A-hah! It's Harry Potter! 

Voice (takes face of pretty middle-aged woman off), Voldemort: Ahah! 

Harry: No! _Expelliarmus!_

Voldemort: Hey, relax, little dude, just here to scare ya off. 

Harry (runs screaming out the window): AAaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! 

Toads: _Hop, hop_. 

Voldemort (sighs and takes face off again), Lupin: I believe I might have scared him off. 

Me (appearing out of nowhere, landing on a toad): Ouch! Oops, where's Harry? 

Harry (comes back mysteriously): Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!! Here I am. 

ME: Well, now Harry, that was fun, wasn't it? 

Harry (start to shake head violently): NO! 

ME (sigh): Oh, well. OKay, I'll erase your memory. Bye, have fun! 

Harry *starts to Disapparate back to Hogwarts, from head to toe*: Thank you, God! 

Lupin (sniffles): He didn't even recognize me! Wah!!!!! I'm leaving!!!! 

Me (staring around bemusedly): Where's everyone gone? Come back, come back! Jack, I'll never let go! 

Jack *Titanic, the movie*: Oh, Rose... hey, you're not Rose! 

Me: Get outta here, you bastard! 

Jack *disappears with a POP!*: Oh, Rose, where are you now? 

Me: I must be getting very weird. (settles down to add more torturesome stories to Fanfiction.net that include Harry) There's something weird about this whole thing.... 

Echoes of talk: So, did you do it, Harry? 

Harry's echo: Well, I did, I think, but it looks to me like you guys actually took her literally, you weren't supposed to, Hermione and Ron... 

Sounds of whacks...: Shut up! The truth is often false! 

Kristy's echo: Hmmm... I wonder how Harry did with the job... 

Mr. and Mrs. Pike: Oh, honey, that trip was wonderful! Oh, ki-ids! Where a-are you- OH!! OH!!! OH!!!! Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! Aaaahhh! Step on it! Aaaaahhhhh! 

Another Author's Note: Told ya it's stupid!!!!!!! (Haha?) Review and tell me what you think!   



	2. The Harry Potter and Babysitter's Club C...

Credits: You know the drill. Basically, JK Rowling owns HP and Co., Ann M. Martin owns the BSC, and the people who made up MI2 own the stuff related to it. All those people who own something, own them selves, the English language maker-uppers own the words, and I own, well, myself and my computer. 

Author's Note: Just to tell all you people out there, I absolutely hate making sequels of things like these. I think they're not supposed to be sequels. But, ::sigh:: you fanatic fans just make me keep on going. *grins* Well, okay, I'll admit it. I like writing these, too. At least it keeps my other self from jumping out of my brain during school. 

Me: Oh! Where in the world is Carmen San Diego-oo-oo... 

Computer: I don't know. 

Me (snappishly): Who asked you? 

Computer: Aren't you supposed to be doing the sequel to your HP/ BSC Crossover? 

Me: NO! 

Computer: Oh. (retreats into background) 

Me: Oh, right. He's right. A computer has more sense than I do. I'm depressed now. (bangs head down on keyboard) I need more water... 

Harry: Hey, you're that fanfic writer who made me meet the Babysitters' Club! 

Me (looking up wearily): Didn't I erase your memory of that? 

Harry: Are you okay? 

Me (suddenly lunges at him): NOOOOO!!! 

Harry: Aaaaaahhhhhh! 

Me: Hey, don't start that again! 

Harry: YOU were the one who made me say that! 

Me: No, I wasn't. (thinks) Okay, maybe I was. Look, Harry, as much as I like you guys, I really need some more water and sleep at the moment. Could you stay maybe, suspended in my imagination for a bit? 

Harry (pretends to think): Okay. But hurry, I don't like being suspended. 

Me (feeling a bit more cheerful): Good! I'll be back. Stay tuned for Part Two: HP/ BSC Crossover! 

Harry (suddenly pales): Oh, no... 

*An hour goes by, while I rest my head, drink water and eat PIXIE POWER* 

Me: Oh, goody! I'm renewed! My fingers are ready! 

Harry (shakes head to wake up, yawns): Your fingers are ready? For what? Piano? Your boyfriends' c- 

Me: Ooh-hahahaha! And once again, I'll eliminate myself till I come back up! 

*the white mist comes* 

Harry (confused): Where am I? 

Hermione (runs up to him, Ron at her side): Harry! Guess what? I passed the Apparating test! 

Ron: Me, too! 

Harry (wearily, remembering he was supposed to be transported to the BSC any minute now): Oh. Me, three. 

Hermione and Ron (grin slyly at each other): Bye, Harry! 

Harry: Where are you going!? 

Hermione and Ron (rushing off in the direction of a dark corner of the common room): Uh, nowhere! 

Harry (shakes head): Now I've just got to wait for that fanfiction writer to Apparate me to the BSC headquarters. (sits down to wait) 

*ten minutes pass by* 

Harry: What's taking her so long? (jumps up, full of hope) Hey, maybe she's got writer's block or something! One too many Pixie sticks! 

Me (appearing out of nowhere, standing in front of fire, glaring at him): There is NO SUCH THING AS _TOO MUCH PIXIE POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

Harry: Drat. 

Me: Shut up. You sound like the English prick that you are. (sniffs) 

Harry (slowly walks off to his dormitory): Bye. 

Me: Fine then, be that way! (sits down once more at computer and begins typing furiously) 

*At the Pikes' house* 

Mr. Pike: Honey, where are our kids? 

Mrs. Pike: I hope they weren't scared away by the toads... 

Toads: _Hop, hop_. 

Mr. and Mrs. Pike: Ugh. (begins to search through house) Oh, ki-ids! Where are you? Pizza tonight! 

Mr. Pike: We really shouldn't bribe them like that... 

Mrs. Pike: Oh, honey, it doesn't matter, does it? (looks imploringly into husbands' eyes) 

Mr. Pike: You're right, honey, yes, oh... 

*Sounds of smooching. I throw a curtain over them for the time being* 

Harry (in his bed, staring at his pillow): I'm bored. 

My voice: Bored enough to visit the Babysi- 

Harry (sits bolt upright): NO! (takes wand and points it at the space between him and the dormitories' door, looking wildly around for any sight of me) _Stupefy_! 

Me: Try another one! 

Harry (staring wildly around, shouting the first thing that comes to mind): _Apparatious Unificus_! 

Me (grinning maniacally): YAY! 

*White mist begins to appear* 

Kristy: This meeting will now come to order! 

Stacey (happily): Dues day! 

Claudia: Look what I found! Pay Days! 

Mallory, Jessi, Abby, Kristy, and Dawn: Yay! 

Harry (groans): Nooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Mary Anne: You guys, Harry's back! 

Abby: Where's Harry's back? 

Harry: Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh! 

Claudia: Oh, my lord! It's Harry Potter! 

Harry (looks at Claud, confused once more): Wait a minute! You're not Cho! 

Kristy: Obviously. 

Stacey: Who's Cho? 

Mallory: Remember? Harry's girlfriend? 

Harry (turning red): She's- she's not my girlfriend! 

Jessi (grins at Harry): Ooo-oh! Harry's got a girlfriend! 

Mary Anne (turning a shade of red from sympathy): You guys, poor Harry! 

Kristy (voice suddenly turns hard): I had heard about weird things about your babysitting job with the Pikes', Harry. It's not good for our club to have incompetent baby-sitters. 

Harry (starts hyperventilating): It- it wasn't my fault! 

Claudia (gently): Whose was it? 

Harry (looks for the exit window): Yours! 

Krisy (looks suspiciously at Claudia): What? 

Stacey (protesting): How could Claud have done anything? 

Harry (exasperated): I don't know! 

Voldemort: Hoo-hoo-ha-ha! 

Me: Just in time for the fun! 

Voldemort (repeats): Hoo-hoo-ha-ha! 

Me: Gotta do something to that laugh, Voldie. You sound like a monkey. 

BSC (shocked faces): Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!! It's You-Know-Who!!!!!!! 

Harry (takes out wand, instantly on alert): Stand back, Voldemort! 

Voldemort (voice softened): Harry, like, it's okay. Like, I don't want to hurt you. Dude, like, relax! 

Harry (stricken with horror): He's a Valley Girl! Aaaaaahhhhh! (runs screaming out the door) 

The BSC (runs after him): Help uuuussssssssss, Ann M. Martin!!!!!!! Help us, BSC fanfic writers!!!!! 

Mary Anne: Logan, help me! 

Me (pityingly): Sorry, girls, there aren't any BSC fanfic writers. 

Kristy (pauses): Why? 

Me (dryly): Why do you think there aren't any Spice Girl fans? 

Dawn: They really stink! 

Abby: Oh. 

BSC (resume running outside): Aaaaahhhh! They compared us to the Spice Girls!!!!! 

Voldemort: Why doesn't anybody even guess at who I am? (takes face off) 

Lupin (sulks): I'm going to cry. (cries) 

Me: Oh, come on, Lupin, there's nothing to cry about! 

Lupin (sniffling): You don't understand. Harry's the world to me! 

Me (starts edging to the door): Um, right. Oh, look! It a tiny, flying green elephant! 

Lupin (looks to where I'm pointing): Where? 

Me (runs out of door as fast as I can): Um, there! 

Lupin (voice fades away): Oh, I see it now! (glances around, nobody's out there) Ha-ha! (takes face off again) 

Snape: Now I have evidence against that stupid Harry Potter! I must show Dumbledore. He must see that this nincompoop Potter sneaks away in the middle of the night to be with girls, with this evidence! (holds up Cheerio-sized video camera, *looks at it ecstatically*) 

Snape: Yes! Finally, what I have dream- oof! (trips against a pack of King-sized Butterfingers that are lying on Claudia's bed) Oh- NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! NO! Ruined, the chance of a lifetime!!!!!! (camera is lying down, crushed from the oil tubes under her bed) 

Harry (emerges from behind an oil painting): What are you doing here? 

Snape (disgust replacing despair, his lip curls into a sneer): Nothing, Potter. 

Harry (takes face off), now Voldemort: I am deeply disappointed in you, Severus. 

Snape (going white): Oh, My Lord, I wasn't doing- 

Voldemort: NOW! GET OUT NOW! 

Snape (scuttles off): Yes, my liege... 

Voldemort (takes off face again), Lupin: Man, like, why doesn't anyone EVER take me, like, seriously? Like, no one's been, like, able to, like recognize me! Like, this is so unfair! (sobs) 

Me (sighs, starts to get a headache): Okay, Lupin. I'll take off your Valley Girl thing- even though it was funny. You were getting annoying. 

Lupin (brightly): Like, okay! But, like, why would you, like, want me to- Aaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!! What am I doing here? Where's the Shrieking Shack? Where's Hogwarts? 

Me (sighs again): It's a long story.... 

*At the Pike's house* 

Harry (looking around guiltily): Toadies, where are you? 

Toads: _Hop, hop_. 

Harry (loks about ready to cry, in case toads can see his face): Okay, I'm sorry about what I did. Here, I'll change you. 

Toads (Hopping higher): _HOP, HOP_! 

Harry (closes eyes): _Slymiatus Grittesia_! (Grins with satisfaction) 

Adam: POP! (turns briefly into person for one minute, then turns into newt) 

Byron: POP! (turns briefly into person for one minute, then turns into newt) 

Jordan: POP! (turns briefly into person for one minute, then turns into newt) 

Vanessa: POP! (turns briefly into person for one minute, then turns into newt) 

Nicky: POP! (turns briefly into person for one minute, then turns into newt) 

Margo: POP! (turns briefly into person for one minute, then turns into newt) 

Claire: POP! (turns briefly into person for one minute, then turns into newt) 

Harry (looks guiltily around, then rushes off in the direction of the fireplace, where he ignites the wood and sprinkles a bunch of Floo powder in): I feel good, Na-na-na-na-na-na-na!! 

*I open curtain that Mr. and Mrs. Pike were making out behind* 

Mrs. Pike: I love you (stares dreamily into husbands' eyes) 

Mr. Pike: I love you too, honeybunch. (smiles) 

Mrs. Pike (twirling to some B.S. music that just suddenly pops on for this, courtesy of myself): Come, darli- oh- ew!- Aaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!! I just stepped on somehting... something slimy.... Aaaaahhhhh!!!!! It's a salamander!!!!! 

Mr. Pike (looks at wife's toes): Honey, It's okay, it's just a newt- Ahhhhhhh!!! There's one in my- 

Newts (these are aggresive newts, mind you): _Slink, slink_ (sliding across floor up the Pikes' ankles) 

Mr. and Mrs. Pike: Ahhhhhh! God help us!!!!! 

Me (appearing invisibly and smirking): Too bad. 

*Harry's dormitory* 

Harry: Well now that was an interesting experience! 

Me (looks down at him): Yep, it sure was. 

Harry (levitates): Aaaahhh!! Not you again!!!! 

Me: I'm really, truly sorry about what happened, Harry. (puts on a sad face) 

Harry (suspicious, keeps curtain between his body and mine): Okay, sure, Nori. 

Me: No, really... (looks at strange black thingamabobber on wrist, which is screaming shrilly, "get out!") Oh, nuts! I've gotta go, Harry! Bye, see ya! 

Harry (flabbergasted): No, don't see me later.... (shakes head, gets in bed and immediately starts snoring) I must be getting really weird... 

*me, still there but invisible*: Hee-hee. (whispers): pixie power!!!!! (goes over and pours PIXIE POWER into Harry's opened mouth) 

Me: Have fun! (smiles devilishly...)   


A/A/N: Ahahahaha! And just so you know, I have a very weird fixation w/ the MI2 mask thingys...just ask anyone...   
  
  
  
  
  



	3. The Harry Potter and Babysitter's Club C...

Credits: You know the drill. Basically, JK Rowling owns HP and Co., Ann M. Martin owns the BSC, BS belongs to b.s. (shortened version), and the people who made up MI2 own the stuff related to it. All those people who own something, own themselves, the English language maker-uppers own the words, and I own, well, myself and my computer. 

Author's Note: This is it. Last in the trilogy of the BSC and HP. Boo-hoo. *cheers* I'm so glad. You should be, too, it's the end of this insane cliche (depends, though). You wouldn't believe how much sleep I've lost writing this... oh, wait, it was doing my homework that I didn't sleep... anyways, please read and review????? You know you want to. :) "DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY!'" :) 

*and to those who don't know, "shnike" is pronounced shuh-NIKE-ee, and rhymes with "nike", as in the sports brand.*>> 

*Last time, Mr. and Mrs. Pike were enjoying each other but happen to find their children up their pants, their kids turned into newts (courtesy of Harry), and I had to go off to...ah....do something else* 

Me (in my bedroom, reading Harry Potter #4 for the fifteenth time): Oh my god, Harry, watch out! Go! Go! Go while you have the chance !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Harry (finds himself Apparated to my room, suddenly looks disgusted): Nori, multiple exclamation marks are the indicating signs of insanity. 

Me (not listening): Um- hum... 

Me (jumps out of bed): YEARGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!! 

Harry (not looking sorry at all): Sorry, didn't mean to surprise you... 

Me: HARRY! What are you doing here in my bedroom! I was READING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Harry: Er- 

Me (realizing he's actually here): Oh, good. Sit down. I want to find out what happened after I- 

Harry (suddenly turns dark red): That was YOU who put that PIXIE STIX in my MOUTH?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Me (deep purple): IT'S NOT PIXIE _STIX_, IT'S _PIXIE POWER_!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Harry (looks frightened): Er- right...sorry. (sits back down on chair) 

Me (calms down): Okay. So, what happened? 

Harry (blushes): Well, I accidentally- er- I- 

Me (sitting on verge of seat): What? 

Harry (in a rush): I got up, ran to the window, and threw myself out. 

Me (frowning): Why? 

Hary (dreamily): I saw tiny green elephants and wanted to join them in the sky... 

Me (very excited): You saw the tiny green elephants? Wow! I see them too! In fact... *looks at watch* OH MY GLORIOUS SHNIKES!!!!!!! 

Harry (still dreamily): Shnikes? 

Me (impatiently, goes and grabs Harry's hand): I'm late! It's time for your third and final BSC Crossover!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Harry (moans, covers face in hands and tries to get my grip off): Noooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Me (grinning slyly): Harry, you know, multiple exclamation marks are the first indicating signs of insanity. 

*familiar white mist comes up* 

Kristy: Harry, is that you? 

Claudia: I'm sure it is. 

Abby (in announcer's voice): Yes, here he is, Harry Potter, live in BSC headquarters. 

Harry (looking around for me, can't find me, and sighs wearily): I'm going to get her for all this... 

Kristy (coolly): So, Harry, we heard what happened in your job at the Pikes'. 

Harry (puts head into hands): Er- right. 

Kristy, Claudia, Mary Anne, Mallory, Jessi, Abby, Stacey, Dawn, and Shannon: How COULD you? 

Mallory (starts crying): Harry, my parents nearly had heart attacks from those slugs, and trying to find where my siblings were!!!!!!!!! 

Mary Anne (sniffling as well): Oh, Harry... 

Harry (sinking into cringing ball in chair): I did- didn't mean to... 

Abby (face hard): Oh, yes, I can see it now. INCOMPENTENT BABYSITTER TURNS KIDS INTO SLUGS. 

Harry (finally explodes): IT WASN'T MY FAULT, ALL RIGHT???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

BSC (totally shocked): Oh. 

Kristy: Meeting adjourned! 

All (look at her strangely): Excuse me? 

Kristy (points to clock): It's six! 

All (roll eyes): Okay. 

Harry (scrambles out of room and flies downstairs while they're distracted): Erm- bye! 

Me (appearing on sidewalk infront of him): So, how'd it go? 

Harry (nearly tripping over me, running like his life depended on it): God, Nori.... If I ever have the chance to kill you... 

*white mist swirls around us* 

Me (having Apparated both of them to some distant, unknown mountain range): What? 

Harry: What did you do? 

Me (squinting): I- I think we're on Machupiccu or something... 

Harry (confused, looks over edge of mountain and nearly falls): HOLY SKITTLES, GET US OFF HERE, QUICK! 

Me (frustrated): Oh, nutty nuts! Something's blocked my Apparating powers! 

Harry (edges back to me): And you were saying... 

Me: _No se donde estamos..._

Harry: Erm- _yo quiero Taco Bell?_

Me: _Creo que estamos arriba de MachuPiccu o Cotopaxi o algo así..._

Harry (head cocked to one side, frowning): Er-what? 

*whoosh of air nearly blasts both of us down* 

Harry: WHOA! 

Me: WHOA! 

Hary: Are you okay? 

Me: Of course I am! 

Harry: Why were you speaking in Spanish? 

Me: I wasn't speaking is Spa- 

Dumbledore: Greetings, fellow persons... 

Me and Harry: What in the name of the heavenly shnikes are you doing here? 

McGonagall (face ashen): I thought you might have had better sense, Mr. Potter. We were so worried! 

Me (frowning): What? 

Dumbledore: I am sorry to bear this bad news, but, alas, we must get Mr. Potter back to where he is scheduled to be at this very moment. 

Me (confused): Where? 

Dumbledore (looks at black piece of parchment): It says, _Bring Potter to me at top of Machu-Piccu at five thirty, today. Signed, Lord V. (D.E.)_

Me (shaking head at their stupidity): Well, get off here then, it's Voldemort who wrote you that note, he's going to kill Harry! 

Dumbledore (muttering): Preposterous... 

McGonagall (smiles evilly and takes face off): Not so preposterous as I, dear Dumbledore... 

Dumbledore (calmly): Ah, so it is you, Tom. 

Voldemort: My name is no longer Tom Riddle. 

Dumbledore (icilly, trying to himself between Voldie and Harry): Yes, and I suppose it's now Voldemort, is it not? 

Me (impatiently): Look, you guys, it's really not time to have an all out fight, you know. 

Harry (whispers, eyes fixed on Voldie): Get away from here, Nori, you'll only get hurt. 

Me: Of course I wont! (goes up between Voldemort and Dumbledore and pries them apart) 

Voldemort: AVADA KEDAVRA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (whooshes wand around) 

Dumbledore and Harry (duck): Aaaahhhhhh! (nothing happens) 

*everyone stands up again and Voldie looks ashamed* 

Nori: See, you guys? It's not Voldemort at all! It's probably just... (reaches up and takes Voldie's face off) What the.... 

Kristy (furious): Harry, we demand a replay of your babysitting job. 

Harry (nearly levitates): What the....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Dumbledore (takes face and robes off and is found to be Claudia): Harry, you're coming with us. 

Me (smacks head): I have nothing to do with this, okay? 

*later, in BSC headquarters...* 

Kristy: Okay, Harry, come on. What exactly happened at the Pikes'? 

Harry (cringes, looks for help and finds angry eyes instead): Er- 

Stacey (accusing voice): Well? 

Harry (mumbling very fast): I turned them into toads and then newts. 

Kristy, Mary Anne, Stacey, Claudia, Dawn, Abby, Mallory, and Jessi: Excuse me? 

Harry (getting annoyed here): I SAID, er (looks around): um, Nori made me do it. 

Me: WHAT??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Harry (edging out of door): Nori, multiple exclamation points are the indicating signs of insanity... 

Me: So what, I'm insane, I know that... (puts on innocent face) But, Harry, I never _made_ you do anything! 

Claudia (softly): Harry, please, tell me- us- where Mal's sisters and brothers are. 

Abby (quietly): Yeah, because she misses them so much. 

Harry (looks at Claudia in desperate attempt to change subject): Are you sure you're not Cho? 

Mallory and Jessi (giggling): Oooooh, Harry and Claudia, sitting in a tree, K-I- 

Everyone else: Shut up. 

Mal and Jessi (small voices): Okay. 

Kristy (sternly): Now, no backing out of it, tells us. 

Harry (sighing heavily): I got there, the kids mobbed me, and I accidentally turned them into- 

Britney Spears: 

Ooops, he, did it again,   
he played with the Pikes',   
and then lost in their game,   
Oh, Harry, Harry   
He does-n't know,   
whatever is o-out there   
includes the B-S-s-C-

Me: Noooooooo! 

BSC: Yeah, Britney! 

Harry (looks at me): Let's go. 

Kristy (didn't hear us): Do you think that maybe, in your next album, you could put, call KL-3- 

Stacey and Claudia: He wasn't Lucky, and he didn't cry-y... 

Me (hands over ears): I'm gone... 

*on sidewalk* 

Me (smirking): Well, now, that was- 

Harry (turns green): Don't even say it... 

Me: -an interesting experience, wasn't it? 

Harry (muttering): Sure, whatever... 

Me (sighs ruefully): Okay, I'll Apparate us back to your castle... 

*white mist comes up, a second later we're in Gryffindor common room* 

Hermione: Harry? Nori? Did you just Apparate here? 

Me: Yeah, I did. 

Hermione: You can't Apparate inside Hogwarts grounds! 

Me (grouchy now): Well, we just did, Hermy... 

Harry and Ron (their eyes bugging out): What did you call Hermione? 

Me (moodily): Hermy. 

Hermione (notices I'm in a bad mood, moves over in chair to let me sit): It's okay, I rather like it. Hermy... 

Harry: Whats the matter, Nori? 

Me (punches the chairs' armrest): I'm fine... 

Ron: No, you aren't! 

Me (jumps up): Okay, so I'm not fine!!!!!!!!! You want to know why? 

Harry: Er- too many exclamation points? 

Me (pauses to think): No, I- need... 

Harry (face starts getting gray): Oh, no, run for your lives, everybody? 

Ron and Hermione: What? (turn to look at Harry who is hiding beneath a table, and everyone else is staring at him) 

Me (feeling much, much, much, much better): PIXIE POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Filch: I demand you not mess the common room up, it took five hours of re-designing all the damage done by those Weasels... 

Mrs Norris: Meowlr! (nods) 

Voldie (comes in suddenly): MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Me (getting hyperer and holing ten gallons' worth of PIXIE POWERS in hand): Was it this fic where I mentioned him sounding like a monkey? 

Harry (moaning): I think so. 

Me: YOU SOUND LIKE A MONKEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Voldemort (smirks): multiple exclamation points are the- 

Me (screaming with joy): I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!! have some PIXIE POWER! (I fling the PIXIE'S over everyone heads and they start scrambling) 

Harry (tries to breathe deeply): Oh, not again, this is too much... 

BSC (suddenly arrive in common room): YEAH!!!! A party!!!! 

Harry (moans again): Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.... 

Claudia (finds PIXIE POWER): Oh, look, guys, Pixie Stix! (makes mad dash to join the others on floor) 

Hermione: Do you know what they are? Had they been invented yet when Ann M. Martin first wrote your books? (goes off to library to find out. Ron follows her) 

Ron: Wait, Hermione! Never- 

Rose (_titanic_): I'll never let go, Jack... (let's Jack and he dies forever, then Rose also vanishes) 

Me (furious): DON'T YOU DARE CALL THEM PIXIE STIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY HAVE POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S PIXIE **POWER**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Everyone (turns to look at me): Okies.. pixie power... 

Me (happy): Good. Let the party- 

Celine Dion: 

Go o-on,   
near, far where-EVER you are,   
you may eat to your hea-arts' conte-e-nt...

Me (can't hear her over rising noise level): Was that you, Harry? 

Harry (crunches down): Oh, I hope there wont be a sequel, please let there not be a sequel... 

Another Authors' note: NEEP!!!!!! NEEP!!!!!! *Houston, we have a problem. Emtpy box down below. Your mission: Fill it out and submit.* 

One more Authors' Note: Tell me, what? I always wanna hear your say... 

Yet Another Authors' Note: Okay, I'm outta that songfic stage... what was I gonna say? Oh, yeah, review... 


End file.
